Funny Junk

[Brian S]

Recycle the beer bottles, and watch TV all day

Recycling one glass jar, saves enough energy to watch T.V for 3 hours!

 

[Pat]

For every human on Earth there are 1.6 million ants.

And I knocked off 5681 off the bastards this morning.

 

[GeorgeG]

There are more saunas than cars in Finland.

 

[Brian S]

I must be a Shire horse then

Proportional to their weight, men are stronger than horses.

 

[Brian S]

Two very popular and common objects have the same function, but one has thousands of moving parts, while the other has absolutely no moving parts - an hourglass and a sundial.

 

[Brian S]

Moisture, not air, causes super glue to dry

 

[Brian S]

Fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers were all invented by women.

 

[Brian S]

Mmmmmm ??

Percentage of American men who say they would marry the same woman if they had it to do all over again: 80

Percentage of American women who say they would marry the same man: 50

Percentage of men who say they are happier after their divorce or separation: 58

Percentage of women who say they are happier: 85

 

[Brian S]

Anyone near the 'Pool volunteer to find out if it' true

Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England, but only in tropical fish stores.

 

[Shayne]

Percentage of American men who say they would marry the same woman if they had it to do all over again: 80
Only 20% of American men have the courage to upset the wife .

Percentage of American women who say they would marry the same man: 50
50% of American woman wouldn't give their men the satisfaction of knowing they would marry him again .

Percentage of men who say they are happier after their divorce or separation: 58
42% were left bankrupt and as direct consequence were unable to get their leg over .

Percentage of divorced women who say they are happier: 85
15% didn't take him for every penny .

 

[Chas]

Mmmmmm ??


Percentage of women who say they are happier: 85

In the words of Mandy Rice Davies, well they would say that wouldn't they?

 

[Chas]

Why are fairy lights called fairy lights? Iolanthe or, The Peer and the Peri, is a comic opera by Gilbert and Sullivan which opened in London on 25 November 1882, at the Savoy Theatre (the first public building in the world to be lit entirely by electricity) In Iolanthe, a story about Fairies, the Fairies wore tiaras with lights in them powered by batteries, which must have been quite large so started the Christmas fashion for decorative lights. Now you know.

 

[Brian S]

If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes

 

[Brian S]

The blue whale can produce sounds up to 188 decibels. This is the loudest sound produced by a living animal and has been detected as far away as 530 miles.

 

[Brian S]

If you keep a goldfish in the dark room, it will eventually turn white.

 

[Brian S]

Titter ye not (Mr F Howerd)


The dot that appears over the letter "i" is called a tittle.

 

[Brian S]

they understand marriage then


The Spanish word esposa means "wife." The plural, esposas, means "wives," but also "handcuffs."

 

[Brian S]

A Swiss ski resort announced it would combat global warming by wrapping its mountain glaciers in aluminum foil to keep them from melting.

 

[Brian S]

smashed on a pint and for less than a £5 win win


Russian scientists have developed a new drug that prolongs drunkenness and enhances intoxication

 

[GeorgeG]

Emus and kangaroos cannot walk backward