Apr 16, 2010
I went to a fancy lingerie shop to get a gift for my wife and I asked the assistant 'Are these panties satin'? she said 'No, they're brand new'
Lego drum kits
If you can't beat them
Well here's a gem about a young stoker who wanted to join the circus after his time in the Pusser.
Lion Tamer Job Offer
A circus owner ran an ad for a lion tamer and two young people showed up.
One was a good-looking lad(our stoker lad) in his mid-twenties and the other was a gorgeous blonde about the same age.
The circus owner told them, "I'm not going to sugarcoat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer, so you guys better be good or you're history.
Here's your equipment: chair, whip, and a gun.
Who wants to try out first?"
The girl said, "I'll go first." She walked past the chair, the whip, and the gun and stepped right into the lion's cage.
The lion started to snarl and pant and began to charge her. About half way there, she threw open her coat revealing her beautiful naked body.
The lion stopped dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawled up to her and started licking her ankles.
He continued to lick her calves, kissed them and then rested his head at her feet.
The circus owner’s mouth was on the floor.
He said, "I've never seen a display like that in my life."
He then turned to the young man and asked, "Can you top that?"
The young man replied, "No problem, just get that fucking lion out of the way."
I was just thinking.......... Some scrabble tiles got stuck under my sandwich and I swallowed them. I'm thinking that my next visit to the loo could spell disaster.
I think they should legalise cannabis and use the revenue on road repairs, they could call it Operation Pothole.
Man dies of boredom
"How did you lose your hands?", asked a bloke in the pub.
"I stole a fish in the Middle East", I replied.
"It was so big that I couldn't run fast enough and they caught me."
"How big was it?" he asked.
I held my arms out wide and said, "A bit bigger than that."
Oh cruel, cruel.
“Do Not Touch” must be one of the most scary things to read in braille
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