Jokes

AndycruiserguyLomas

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I am in england
Nov 19, 2010
4,756
1,995
113
Sheffield S.Yorks
Might be controversial but ....

Meghan Markle was visiting a primary school and she visited one of the classes.
They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.
The teacher asked meghan if she would like to lead the discussion on the word "tragedy".
So the the attention seeking soap star asked the class for an example of a "tragedy".
One little boy stood up and offered: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be a 'tragedy'".
" No," said Meghan, "that would be an accident."
A little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus carrying fifty children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."
"I'm afraid not," explained Meghan "That's what we would call a great loss."
The room went silent. No other children volunteered.Meghan searched the room.
"Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of tragedy?"
Finally, at the back of the room, a small boy raised his hand...In a quiet voice he said: "If the aeroplane carrying you and your husband was struck by a "friendly fire" missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy.
"Fantastic!" exclaimed Meghan. "That's
right...... And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?"
"Well," says the boy "It has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn't be a great loss and it probably wouldn't be a fucking accident either
 
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goodoldboy

Well-Known Member
Apr 30, 2010
1,412
635
113
Might be controversial but ....

Meghan Markle was visiting a primary school and she visited one of the classes.
They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.
The teacher asked meghan if she would like to lead the discussion on the word "tragedy".
So the the attention seeking soap star asked the class for an example of a "tragedy".
One little boy stood up and offered: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be a 'tragedy'".
" No," said Meghan, "that would be an accident."
A little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus carrying fifty children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."
"I'm afraid not," explained Meghan "That's what we would call a great loss."
The room went silent. No other children volunteered.Meghan searched the room.
"Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of tragedy?"
Finally, at the back of the room, a small boy raised his hand...In a quiet voice he said: "If the aeroplane carrying you and your husband was struck by a "friendly fire" missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy.
"Fantastic!" exclaimed Meghan. "That's
right...... And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?"
"Well," says the boy "It has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn't be a great loss and it probably wouldn't be a fucking accident either
We should ask ourselves why is there so much hatred for Meghan & why Harry isn't in the firing line ? Has everyone forgotten how hostile the tabloid press were to Diana ?
 
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Chas

Well-Known Member
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I am in england
Mar 15, 2010
17,253
4,901
113
Merton Park London
Garage
Might be controversial but ....

Meghan Markle was visiting a primary school and she visited one of the classes.
They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.
The teacher asked meghan if she would like to lead the discussion on the word "tragedy".
So the the attention seeking soap star asked the class for an example of a "tragedy".
One little boy stood up and offered: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be a 'tragedy'".
" No," said Meghan, "that would be an accident."
A little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus carrying fifty children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."
"I'm afraid not," explained Meghan "That's what we would call a great loss."
The room went silent. No other children volunteered.Meghan searched the room.
"Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of tragedy?"
Finally, at the back of the room, a small boy raised his hand...In a quiet voice he said: "If the aeroplane carrying you and your husband was struck by a "friendly fire" missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy.
"Fantastic!" exclaimed Meghan. "That's
right...... And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?"
"Well," says the boy "It has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn't be a great loss and it probably wouldn't be a fucking accident either
You're getting better Andy, I've nicked that.
 

Dervis Garip

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I am in cyprus
Feb 17, 2012
2,066
1,237
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Famagusta, Cyprus
Garage
A giant ship's engine broke down and no one could repair it, so they hired a Mechanical #Engineer with over 40 years of experience.

He inspected the engine very carefully, from top to bottom. After seeing everything, the engineer unloaded the bag and pulled out a small hammer.

He knocked something gently. Soon, the engine came to life again. The engine has been fixed!

7 days later the engineer mentioned that the total cost of repairing the giant ship was $20,000 to the ship owner.

"What?!" said the owner.
"You did almost nothing. Give us a detailed bill."

The answer is simple:
Tap with a hammer: $2
Know where to knock and how much to knock: $19,998

The importance of appreciating one's expertise and experience...because those are the results of struggles, experiments and even tears.

If I do a job in 30 minutes it's because I spent 20 years learning how to do that in 30 minutes. You owe me for the years, not the minutes.
CBC28B4F-D415-40C9-9865-7BFBA3E56F84.jpeg
 
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Chas

Well-Known Member
Supporter
I am in england
Mar 15, 2010
17,253
4,901
113
Merton Park London
Garage
Tescos, good, occasionally busy later.
Sainsburys, moderate to good, sale on Corn Flakes.
Asda, slight to moderate, heavy crowds by evening.
Marks and Spencers and Co-Op, fair.
Waitrose fair to moderate, spillage in aisle 7.
Lidl, rough at first, moderate later.
.
And that's the end of the Shopping Forecast.
 
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