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Corona virus: Humour

  1. I’ll tell you a coronavirus joke now, but you’ll have to wait two weeks to see if you got it.
  2. Nail salons, hair salons, waxing center and tanning places are closed. It’s about to get ugly out there.
  3. Finland just closed its borders. You know what that means. No one will be crossing the finish line.
  4. What do you tell yourself when you wake up late for work and realize you have a fever? Self, I so late.
  5. Did you hear the joke about the germ? Never mind, I don’t want to spread it around.
 
  1. Where do sick boats go to get healthy? The dock!
  2. What did the sick parent make their kids for lunch? Mac and sneeze.
  3. I ran out of toilet paper and had to start using old newspapers. Times are rough.
  4. You know what they’re saying about 2020. It went viral faster than anyone thought it would.
  5. What do you call panic-buying of sausage and cheese in Germany? The wurst kase scenario.
 
  1. Back in my day you would cough to cover up a fart. Now, with COVID-19, you fart to cover up a cough.
  2. If there’s a baby boom nine months from now, what will happen in 2033? There will be a whole bunch of quaranteens.
  3. You know what they say: feed a cold, starve a fever, drink a corona.
  4. What should you do if you don’t understand a coronavirus joke? Be patient.
  5. The grocery stores in France look like tornadoes hit them. All that’s left is de brie.
  6. Still no toilet paper in the stores. They’re wiped out and you’re shit out of luck.
  7. So many coronavirus jokes out there, it’s a pundemic.
 
  1. Back in my day you would cough to cover up a fart. Now, with COVID-19, you fart to cover up a cough.
  2. If there’s a baby boom nine months from now, what will happen in 2033? There will be a whole bunch of quaranteens.
  3. You know what they say: feed a cold, starve a fever, drink a corona.
  4. What should you do if you don’t understand a coronavirus joke? Be patient.
  5. The grocery stores in France look like tornadoes hit them. All that’s left is de brie.
  6. Still no toilet paper in the stores. They’re wiped out and you’re shit out of luck.
  7. So many coronavirus jokes out there, it’s a pundemic.
Jesus Christ on a bike jj!!! I reckon you got a great future in the Christmas cracker bussiness mate.....
 
Jesus Christ on a bike jj!!! I reckon you got a great future in the Christmas cracker bussiness mate.....
Yeh, and I can work from home, do you think CV will still be around at Christmas?

I thought up all of those one liners ;);)
 
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If you receive an email with the subject “ding dong” don't open it, as its Jehovah's Witnesses working from home. :icon-twisted::icon-twisted:

Also:

If anyone knocks on your door and says they need to stick their finger up yer bum to test for Corona virus, it’s a scam!
I feel so stupid now :icon-redface:
 
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