Jokes

[Philip A]

"A true gentleman shall not entertain idle thoughts of wandering about in a horseless carriage after dark"

Joseph Lucas, 1834 - 1902

 

[AndycruiserguyLomas]

"Tell me, Sherlock, where do lemons come from?" "A lemon tree, my dear Watson."

 

[Chas]

"Tell me, Sherlock, where do lemons come from?" "A lemon tree, my dear Watson."

Groan!

 

[AndycruiserguyLomas]

Groan!

I take it you think the standard is elevating Chas.

 

[AndycruiserguyLomas]

"Just for Chas"

In Jamaica you can get a steak and kidney pie for £1.75, a chicken and mushroom pie for £1.60 and an apple pie for £2.15.
In St Kitts and Nevis a steak and kidney pie will cost you £2, a chicken pie (without mushrooms) is £1.70 and a cherry pie can be yours for £1.95.
In Trinidad and Tobago, that steak and kidney pie comes in at £2.50, but you can two for £3.50, while the chicken and mushroom pie is £2.25, or two for £3.25. They also offer meat and potato pie for £2, or two for £3. Their apple pies and cherry pies are often sold for £2.75, or two (any combination) for £4.75.
Those are the Pie Rates of the Caribbean

 

[clivehorridge]

Double groan.

 

[Chas]

OMG Andy, you're getting worse than me.

 

[Brian S]

Love it

Keep it up boys, it's going the right way, downhill fast


Nicked it Andy

 

[AndycruiserguyLomas]

Nicked it Andy

You are most welcome Brian, spread the word I say

 

[Chas]

Love it

Keep it up boys, it's going the right way, downhill fast


Nicked it Andy

Yep! I've nicked it too for Facebook

 

[frank rabbets]

What do you clean an owl with ?









Feather duster.

 

[AndycruiserguyLomas]

What do you clean an owl with ?









Feather duster.

THats no where near groanable Frank, you've go to sink to greater depths to get in our club

 

[Brian S]

I entered ten puns into a pun contest to see if one would win. No pun in ten did.

 

[Brian S]

Q: Why wasn't the geometry teacher at school?
A: Because she sprained her angle!!

 

[Brian S]

Q: What was the spider doing on the computer?
A: Searching the web!

 

[Shayne]

Have you heard about that movie "Constipation" ?




It hasn't come out yet .

 

[MarkW]

What's brown and Sticky?





A stick

 

[flint]

I locked myself out of the car the other day. A soldier who was passing offered to help. He leaned against the drivers door and amazingly it unlocked. When asked how he did it. he replied “ easy, it’s my khaki trousers”.



(Groan factor 3)

 

[Chas]

I locked myself out of the car the other day. A soldier who was passing offered to help. He leaned against the drivers door and amazingly it unlocked. When asked how he did it. he replied “ easy, it’s my khaki trousers”.



(Groan factor 3)

I like that one.

 

[AndycruiserguyLomas]

I went to the doctor and he said “Don’t eat anything fatty”

I asked “No pizza? No burgers?”

He replied “No fatty, just don’t eat anything"