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Jokes

Two men walk into a pet shop in Dingle, they walk over to the bird section and Gerry says to Paddy, 'Dat's dem.'
The owner comes over and asks if he can help them.
'Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up dere,' says Gerry.
The owner puts the budgies in a cardboard box.
Paddy and Gerry pay for the birds, leave the shop and get into Gerry's truck to drive to the top of the Connor Pass.
At the Connor Pass , Gerry looks down at the 1000 foot drop and says, 'Dis looks like a grand place.'
He takes two birds out of the box, puts one on each shoulder and jumps off the cliff.
Paddy watches as the budgies fly off and Gerry falls all the way to the bottom, killing himself stone dead.
Looking down at the remains of his best pal, Paddy shakes his head and says, 'Fook dat. Dis budgie jumping is too fook'n dangerous for me!'
THERE'S MORE....
Moment's later; Seamus arrives up at Connor Pass.
He's been to the pet shop too and walks up to the edge of the cliff carrying another cardboard box in one hand and a shotgun in the other.
'Hi, Paddy, watch dis,' Seamus says.
He takes a parrot from the box and lets him fly free.
He then throws himself over the edge of the cliff with the gun.
Paddy watches as half way down, Seamus takes the gun and shoots the parrot.
Seamus continues to plummet down and down until he hits the bottom and breaks every bone in his body.
Paddy shakes his head and says, 'And I'm never trying dat parrotshooting either!'
IT IS NOT OVER YET...
Paddy is just getting over the shock of losing two friends when Sean appears.
He's also been to the pet shop and is carrying a cardboard box out of which he pulls a chicken.
Sean then takes the chicken by its legs and hurls himself off the cliff and disappears down and down until he hits a rock and breaks his spine.
Once more Paddy shakes his head.
'Fook dat, lads. First dere was Gerry with his budgie jumping, den Seamus parrotshooting.... And now Sean and his fook'n hengliding
 
Two men walk into a pet shop in Dingle, they walk over to the bird section and Gerry says to Paddy, 'Dat's dem.'
The owner comes over and asks if he can help them.
'Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up dere,' says Gerry.
The owner puts the budgies in a cardboard box.
Paddy and Gerry pay for the birds, leave the shop and get into Gerry's truck to drive to the top of the Connor Pass.
At the Connor Pass , Gerry looks down at the 1000 foot drop and says, 'Dis looks like a grand place.'
He takes two birds out of the box, puts one on each shoulder and jumps off the cliff.
Paddy watches as the budgies fly off and Gerry falls all the way to the bottom, killing himself stone dead.
Looking down at the remains of his best pal, Paddy shakes his head and says, 'Fook dat. Dis budgie jumping is too fook'n dangerous for me!'
THERE'S MORE....
Moment's later; Seamus arrives up at Connor Pass.
He's been to the pet shop too and walks up to the edge of the cliff carrying another cardboard box in one hand and a shotgun in the other.
'Hi, Paddy, watch dis,' Seamus says.
He takes a parrot from the box and lets him fly free.
He then throws himself over the edge of the cliff with the gun.
Paddy watches as half way down, Seamus takes the gun and shoots the parrot.
Seamus continues to plummet down and down until he hits the bottom and breaks every bone in his body.
Paddy shakes his head and says, 'And I'm never trying dat parrotshooting either!'
IT IS NOT OVER YET...
Paddy is just getting over the shock of losing two friends when Sean appears.
He's also been to the pet shop and is carrying a cardboard box out of which he pulls a chicken.
Sean then takes the chicken by its legs and hurls himself off the cliff and disappears down and down until he hits a rock and breaks his spine.
Once more Paddy shakes his head.
'Fook dat, lads. First dere was Gerry with his budgie jumping, den Seamus parrotshooting.... And now Sean and his fook'n hengliding
I'm not quite sure why but I had to laugh Andy.
 
A young fella from New York got sickened by the louche lifestyle there and decided to ‘get away from it all’ and moved to a cabin in Alaska for a while.
Well he had been there all alone for about six months when there was a knock on the cabin door and outside was this bearded giant of a man who said “ Hi there I’m your neigbour I’ve got a place about four miles away and there’s gonna be a party at the week end if’n you’d like to come along”
The chap thought “that’s real nice, “Sure I’d like to come” then beard said “I’d better warn you there’s gonna be drinking” the man said “No problem, I can drink a bit too” and the beard said “Maybe some fightin too”
“That’s OK I can take care of myself” the beard then said “Could be some wild sex as well”
“Bring it on” said your man,
“What should I wear?” “Doesn’t much matter” said the beard “Just gonna be the two of us”
 
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Stolen 80s joke.... A proper Yorkshire joke ... (if you’re old enough)
.
Daley Thompson, Tessa Sanderson and Steve Cram are all round at Seb Coe's house for tea.
Steve brought the fish, Tessa brought the chips, Daley brought the mushy peas and Seb provided the salt and vinegar. Suddenly there is a knock at the door so Seb gets up to answer. "Who is it?", asks everyone in unison,
.
"It's Fatima wi t'bread."
 
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Stolen 80s joke.... A proper Yorkshire joke ... (if you’re old enough)
.
Daley Thompson, Tessa Sanderson and Steve Cram are all round at Seb Coe's house for tea.
Steve brought the fish, Tessa brought the chips, Daley brought the mushy peas and Seb provided the salt and vinegar. Suddenly there is a knock at the door so Seb gets up to answer. "Who is it?", asks everyone in unison,
.
"It's Fatima wi t'bread."

Really, oh dear that is groanworthy, get your coat.
 
Don't know who these peeps are but it's funny.
 

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Yeah we had a TV like that but we weren't allowed to touch it .Our parents turned it on and off selected the volume and chose which one of the 3 channels to watch.One of the reasons we spent so much time outside....
 
We are deleting the following people in this group as they don't contribute or post.
Leon Wayne
Angie Brewer
Nancy Spilman
Marta Cain
Maureen Foster
Jaxon Daily
Heather Lee
Michelle Bundy
Vicky Cumming
Marica Dickert
Elmira Chouinard
Danielle Grimes
Deonna Foerster
Lorean Rothschild
Nola Dick
Lucille Delariva
Nora Wohlers
Shoshana Kozak
Bari Strous
Douglass Houser
Leonarda Otero
Jamie Jenkins
Kaleigh Didonna
Lyndon Lanclos
Renata Schillaci
Lisa Arrigo
Charlotte Calvin
Yelena Dunnam
Rena Lawhead
Quinn Sines
Jeanmarie Cabaniss
Keena Prado
Hannah Hoover
Noemi Repp
Eliz Timbers
Melina Avallone
Virginia Mccomb
Kory Demery
Amberly Toole
Lanell Slaton
Murray Casperson
Luna Barrio
Vashti Magnes
James Matthenson
Kathryne Philips
Mahalia Smallwood
Eileen Machin
Lillie Mull
Tanika Morris
Seema Keough
Reatha Poche
Gwenn Seip
Liana Dunston
Nelly Niemann
Jessie Lininger
Annis Nevers
Brittany Blatter
Kendra Pertilla
Reida Nichols
Irene Dennen
Rachel Brantley
Jivenia Porter
Renee Simpkins
Andrea Bogle
Vicky Cumming
Marica Dickert
Elmira Chouinard
Danielle Grimes
Deonna Foerster
Lorean Rothschild
Nola Dick
Lucille Delariva
Nolan Wohlers
Shoshana Kozak
Bari Strous
Donna Houser
Leonarda Otero
Kaleigh Didonna
Lyndon Lanclos
Renata Schillaci
Lisa Arrigo
Charlotte Calvin
Yelena Dunnam
Ronna Lawhead
Quinn Sines
Jeanmarie Cabaniss
Keena Prado
Hanhah Hoover
Noemi Repp
Eliz Timbers
Melina Avallone
Virginia Mccomb
Kory Demery
Amberly Toole
Lanell Slaton
Murray Casperson
Vashti Magnes
Kathryne Philips
Mahalia Smallwood
Eileen Machin
Lillie Mull
Tanika Morris
Seema Keough
Reatha Poche
Gwenn Seip
Kendra Pertilla
Reida Nichols
Irene Dennen
Rachel Brantley
Jivenia Porter
Renee Simpkins
Andrea Bogle
Vicky Cumming
Marica Dickert
Clancy Parsons
If you went through this entire list looking for your name, I do apologize for completely wasting your time. I'm not even an admin and have no clue who these people are. I stole this from another page... now steal this and prank another group.
 
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