Unbelievable! He's right - you really couldn't make this up.
I don't think any normal private buyer would have persisted this long with trying and trying again to get a new car from a dealer that worked. They would have taken the money back offer by this time. Full marks to TFL for sticking with it, they are really going to show up all the problems with manufacture and service. Credit to the dealer, he sounds like he is really trying, but is let down by a crap product and poorly trained maintenance staff.
I'm really enjoying this, thanks for posting, Karl.