Jokes

[Pat]

 

[AndycruiserguyLomas]

Keep your fingers crossed for me. Im on my way to the bank and if things work out its going to change my life forever. I'm talking about BIG money... I'm so excited i can hardly get the fucking stocking over my head!

 

[Pat]

 

[Pat]

 

[clivehorridge]

 

[Pat]

 

[Pat]

 

[Pat]

 

[Pat]

 

[Shayne]

Helen says you all know the tune so -

SING WITH ME GIRLS!!! At first i was afraid , i was petrified! when u said u had 10 inches, lord i almost died!but id spent so many nights just waiting for a man that long, that i grew strong and knew that i could take u on... But there u are ,another lie, I was ready for a Big mac and u brought me a french fry! I should have known that it was bullshit , a sad pathetic dream! should have known there was no anaconda lurking in ur jeans! Go on now - go - walk out the door dont u promise me 10 inches and then turn up with 4 .. weren't u a prat to think i wouldnt find out? Dont u no we're only joking when we say size dont count? I will survive as long as i have batteries, my sex life's going to thrive! I will always have good sex with a handful of latex i will survive i will survive HEY HEY !!

 

[AndycruiserguyLomas]

A Greek and an Italian were sitting in a Starbuck's one day discussing who had the superior culture.

Over triple lattes the Greek guy says, "Well, we have the Parthenon."

Arching his eyebrows, the Italian replies, "We have the Coliseum."

The Greek retorts, "We Greeks gave birth to advanced mathematics."

The Italian, nodding agreement, says, "But we built the Roman Empire."

And so it goes on until the Greek comes up with what he thinks will end the discussion.
With a flourish of finality he says, "We invented sex!"
The Italian replies, "That is true,.......

but it was the Italians who introduced it to women!"

 

[clivehorridge]

A Greek and an Italian were sitting in a Starbuck's one day discussing who had the superior culture.

Over triple lattes the Greek guy says, "Well, we have the Parthenon."

Arching his eyebrows, the Italian replies, "We have the Coliseum."

The Greek retorts, "We Greeks gave birth to advanced mathematics."

The Italian, nodding agreement, says, "But we built the Roman Empire."

And so it goes on until the Greek comes up with what he thinks will end the discussion.
With a flourish of finality he says, "We invented sex!"
The Italian replies, "That is true,.......

but it was the Italians who introduced it to women!" View attachment 133508

I like this joke, I work for an international company, with Italian, and Greek employees, as well as British, Romanian, Arabic, French and Bulgarian folks, it will go down very nicely.....

I hope Athanasios doesn't take it personally!

 

[Pat]

 

[Pat]

 

[AndycruiserguyLomas]

Just tried to change my password to "Beefstew1" but they said it wasn't stroganoff.

 

[Chas]

View attachment 133585

Oivey

 

[Chas]

Two jewish men Abe and Moyshe were walking along the road when Abe spotted an envelope on the ground which turned out to be an unopened wage packet containing a load of money, Moyshe asaid you lucky bastard. Lucky? Said Abe? look at the tax they stopped me

 

[clivehorridge]

How to make a Jewish Omlette:

First, borrow 2 eggs...

 

[AndycruiserguyLomas]

The highlight of my trip to the zoo was seeing an antelope. I'd never seen an insect run off to get married before!

 

[Pat]